Wednesday 13 July 2011

how i became rich


I was standing in front of the cave's entrance around the cave, there were seven different signs warning people to keep out keep out ! danger ! stay away ! beware ! are you crazy ! I warn you ! I wouldn't go in there ! I wondered what could be in there . I had a flash light so I go into the cave . when I enter the cave it was really dark and cold than I use the flash light that I have . when I turn on the flash light I see a lot of spider on the wall but I think that it is OK to go a little further so I just ignore the spider on the wall and go and than when I went so deep into the cave I feel a little spooky and there were cold wind at that time I couldn't here anything but the sound of wind and when I JUST ABOUT TO GIVE UP I saw a yellow light a head of me so I decided not to give and went to check it than I saw Gold a lot of Gold . after that my family became rich .

2 comments:

  1. Hi Marcus!

    The ideas in the story are really good, so well done!

    Remember, though, that the verbs need to be in the past. Look at all these verbs you used and then change them into the past tense:

    *go, enter, use, have, turn, see, think,ignore, go, feel*

    If you use the past tenses in your writing then I think that you will be able to tell very good stories!

    ReplyDelete