Hi My name is ChungEng. I want to tell u one story about I have saved a boy life from the box. Everyday in the morning I was walking down on the street to the school. but one day when I was walking, suddenly I heard a voice from one wooden box and say ''Help! let me out of here!''. and then I open that wooden box I saw one boy about 6 years was crying. and then I asked him'' what wrong with you? why you stay in here? and then he answered '' My parents don't want me anymore ''. After that I thought that I want to take that boy to my house because he was only 6 years old don't know anything and in the future he might have a good future and I consider him like my brother. but I scared that my parents won't be able to accept him. but I still take him to my house. After I arrived at my house I take him to see my parents and my parents said '' who is he? where he comes from? and I answered to them back '' he is a son that his parents don't want him any more and I saw him in a wooden box''. After I told my parents already they said '' that was ok! we can accept him to live in our house!!!
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ReplyDeleteVery good post, good writing
ReplyDeleteVincent, this is a very good story which you have told well. Good work!
ReplyDeleteLet's look at a couple of mistakes. You wrote:
*I want to tell u one story about I have saved a boy life from the box.*
Better would be* I want to tell you a story about how I saved a boy's life*
And *Everyday in the morning I was walking down on the street to the school.*
Better would be *Everyday in the morning I walked down the street to the school.*
thanks for your comments! next time when i write a blog again i will think about the mistake again and i will recognize my writing again!
ReplyDelete